im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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