don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
