So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
