fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
