Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
