I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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