Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
