he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
