speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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