So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
