i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
