Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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