his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
