She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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