what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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