Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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