Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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