We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
