I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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