dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
