I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
