btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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