My nipple is on Facebook.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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