You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
