I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I touched a dick in church today
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm always down for nudity.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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