just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was born a porn star she said
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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