Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
