You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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