Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
