we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
