I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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