Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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