hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
