I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
