look no pants
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
