I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
