I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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