i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
