dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
