I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
