I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
