I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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