wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
