Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
