I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think im going to throw up on grandma
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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