therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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