We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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