D3 body, D1 cock
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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