Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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