well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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