dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
