Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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