2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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