I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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