just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
